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You know the feeling... the heaviness that lingers after a deep, personal conversation. Maybe a colleague confided in you about their struggles with stress, burnout or a personal challenge, and now there’s an unspoken awkwardness between you. They might seem a little quieter the next day, avoiding eye contact or steering clear of follow-up conversations.
That’s an emotional hangover — the exhaustion, self-doubt and vulnerability that come after opening up about something deeply personal, especially in a workplace setting.
Why Opening Up at Work Feels So Risky
When someone chooses to share their struggles, it’s rarely a spur-of-the-moment decision. They’ve likely wrestled with questions like:
Will this change how they see me?
Will they think I’m weak?
Will this get back to my boss?
What if this affects my opportunities at work?
Stigma around mental health, especially in the workplace, is very real. Even in organizations that promote psychological health and safety, many employees worry about being labeled as “too emotional” or “not cut out for the job.” The fear of judgment, discrimination, or unintentional gossip can make them regret opening up, even if the person they spoke to was kind and supportive.
These feelings are magnified at work, where professional reputations and job security feel tied to perceptions of strength and resilience — a word we all know is overused. With resilience becoming a corporate buzzword, many employees feel pressured to constantly push through challenges rather than acknowledge when they're struggling. This overemphasis can lead to guilt and shame when someone does reach a breaking point, almost as if admitting they need support means they've failed at the task of being resilient. The fear of being seen as weak, incapable, or less competent than their peers can make them second-guess their decision to open up, even when they desperately need help.
How to Support Someone After They’ve Opened Up
As the helper (the person on the receiving end of the conversation), you play a critical role in shaping how safe that person feels after their disclosure. Not to put pressure on you, but it’s not overstating it to say that the experience a person has when they open up for the first time can be the deciding factor in whether they access professional help or ever tell anyone else about this struggle, or any struggle they might have in the future. If they feel dismissed, judged or like they’ve made things awkward, they may retreat inward, reinforcing the belief that vulnerability is unsafe. On the flip side, a supportive response can create a sense of psychological safety, showing them that opening up was the right choice.
Here’s what you can do to help:
1. Follow Up and Set a Reassuring Tone
The day after someone opens up, a simple follow-up can go a long way in making them feel safe and supported. A quick message or casual check-in—without making it a big deal—helps ease any lingering discomfort. You might say something like:
"I’m so glad we had that chat yesterday. I know it must have been tough to open up about what’s going on. Thanks for trusting me."
This sets the tone as relaxed, comfortable and reassuring, letting them know you don’t see them any differently and that they don’t need to feel awkward about what they shared. It also helps prevent the “emotional hangover” from turning into regret.
2. Avoid Drastic Behaviour Shifts
If you normally joke around with them, keep joking. If you usually grab lunch together, keep inviting them. Changing your behaviour (even if it’s meant to be supportive) can make them feel like they’ve permanently altered how you see them. They don’t need to be treated with kid gloves—they just need to know that your perception of them hasn’t changed.
3. Keep It Private and Trustworthy (With One Exception)
This should go without saying, but never repeat what they told you unless they explicitly ask for help in bringing somebody else into the equation. Workplace gossip — even well-intended versions like “I think so-and-so is struggling” — can do real harm and break the trust they placed in you.
That said, there’s one important exception: if you have reason to believe the person is at risk of harming themselves or someone else, you must share that information to protect safety. If you're unsure what to do, seek guidance from a trusted leader, HR or your Employee Assistance Program while keeping the person’s dignity and privacy in mind. It’s not about breaking confidentiality, it’s about making sure they get the help they need.
4. Let Them Set the Pace
Some people want to move on quickly, while others might want more support. Follow their lead. If they bring it up again, listen. If they act like nothing happened, don’t force it. Just being there is enough.
Final Thoughts: The Power of Safe Spaces
When someone chooses to open up, they’re trusting you with something vulnerable. How you respond — not just in the moment, but in the days after — can make all the difference in whether they feel supported or regret speaking up.
An emotional hangover doesn’t have to turn into emotional regret. With a little intention, you can help someone feel safe, seen and valued... without making it weird.
Elizabeth Eldridge is a Psychological Health & Safety Consultant based in southern New Brunswick, Canada. In addition to keynote speaking and corporate training on mental health in the workplace, she supports organizations across the country on the adoption of Canada's best practice guidelines on psychological health and safety management. She is the Founder & President of Arpeggio Health Services which provides standardized education programs like Mental Health First Aid, The Working Mind, QPR Suicide Prevention and more.